He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
