good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
this hospital has no fireball
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Randomize
