I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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