Kareoke will never be a sober sport
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
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