In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize