My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
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