Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
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She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
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We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
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