he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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