if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
This is the high leading the old right now
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
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