2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
Sponge bath it is.
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Randomize
