So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
Randomize
