Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
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