it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
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You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
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My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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