dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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