I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
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