He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
you will always have a special place in my vag
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
