i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
I need to wash the frat house off of me
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
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