I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
love makes seman taste better
Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
Everything about him screamed your future.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
