Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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