he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
Randomize
