either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
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