dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
Randomize
