i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
