Christians are straight up FREAKS
You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
seriously iPhone. stop autocorrecting all my fucks into ducks. you're making all my strong worded texts look harmless and adorable.
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
