So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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