I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
Randomize
