just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Randomize
