she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
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You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
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