Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
Randomize
