bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
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