is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
if i died would you start the facebook group?
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
It's blow job season.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
Randomize
