he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
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she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
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I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
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