I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
Randomize
