Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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