even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
