when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Randomize
