We won't sleep together?
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
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