i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
Randomize
