You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
Randomize