I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Randomize
