He told me they were just razor bumps!
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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