i don't like sucking hair
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
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