I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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