You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
two of my INSANE ex girlfriends just texted me saying their coming over because im home alone. needless to say, im deleting my twitter.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
Randomize
