I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Randomize
