Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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