I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
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