how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
Randomize
