My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
