is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
