enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
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