i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Randomize