Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
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I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
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