so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
