that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
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