what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
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