she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
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