"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
Church boner. Awkwardddd
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Randomize
