mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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