woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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