just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
