is your mom at the bar?
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
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