Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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