if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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