so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
Alive.
So much puke
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Randomize
