thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
Randomize
