I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
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