They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Randomize
