there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
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