I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
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